As someone who grew up in the Christian faith, I “should” be excited to share about spiritual gifts, and I am…but this topic hasn’t always brought feelings of joy. For most of my life, when someone would bring up the idea of spiritual gifts, I would shy away. I didn’t think I had any gifts…I thought God had skipped over me. My guess is I am not alone. There are so many people and clients I talk to that don’t feel like they know who they are, what specific talents they have, and more specifically haven’t discovered their spiritual gifts.
Why do we need to know our spiritual gifts?
Why does it matter? It matters because it matters to God. And it matters because, if you believe like I do, that our mission here in this life is to love God, love others, and make disciples, knowing our spiritual gifts allows us to be part of God’s kingdom work in the way He uniquely designed for us. If you want to know more about spiritual gifts, turn to 1 Corinthians 12. Here Paul explains what some of the gifts are, how each of us plays an important part in the church when we use our gifts, and how we can’t fully function as the church body when we deny our gifts.
My journey of discovery
Along with thinking I didn’t have any spiritual gifts, I also thought there was a ranking to the gifts – like some were way more important and special than others. Take the gift of “serving” for example. Now, I know that God calls us all to be more Christ-like by serving others, and I am on board with this calling. However, when it comes to some traditional church serving opportunities like serving in nursery or children’s ministry, I never felt that pull like I thought I should. I felt like there was something wrong with me.
Fast forward about ten years. Our pastor briefly touched on spiritual gifts during a sermon (again I had that sinking feeling like maybe God had passed over me when handing out gifts), and then we explored the topic further in our small group. Someone suggested an online test (more on that in a minute), so I took the test. I was pleasantly surprised (and challenged) by the results. Some puzzle pieces fell into place as I read about my top gifts of Giving, Administration, Wisdom and Exhortation. You see, for many years I have consistently felt the pull toward giving. I feel alive when I give donations (that I could otherwise sell for money), or give monetarily. BUT, I always felt like serving was the “ultimate” gift. I honestly never thought about my giving as a spiritual gift. Knowing that this desire inside my heart was from God was so affirming and encouraging to me. It has challenged me to lean into this gift even more.
I am also able to see how my other gifts are used for God’s glory by just knowing them…naming them. There is still that temptation to be envious of other’s gifts…I mean would anyone really choose administration as one of their top gifts? I probably wouldn’t have, but I can look back and see where that gift has been a gift to others. As I continue in my counseling career, knowing that God has gifted me with wisdom and exhortation, also allow me to look for ways to foster and use those gifts to help others in their healing journey. But I also recognize that these are gifts…from God! Who am I am say what gifts He should give me. I need to focus more on stewarding well what he has bestowed upon me.
Watch this video for more on my journey.
How to discover your spiritual gifts
A great place to start is by taking an online spiritual gifts test. I used the free test from spiritualgiftstest.com. This gave me results showing the spiritual gifts and whether I ranked high, average, or lower in each. This website also offers many other resources. **Note: Just like any other online inventory, this test is just a snapshot. Do your research, read about your gifts, and pray for God to reveal His plan for your gifts.
Another option is to ask a trusted spiritual mentor, pastor or close friend about what gifts they see in you. Sometimes others see strengths, talents, and gifts in us that we don’t see in ourselves. This kind of conversation needs to be entered with gentleness and openness.
Once you have an idea of what some of your spiritual gifts might be, lean into them, “try them on,” and look for ways to use them. Notice your response and your feelings when you use those gifts. Some may come easily, and some may need to be fostered.
Need help?
I am passionate about helping women discover who God created them to be. Contact me if you have questions, if you need a partner to walk through this journey with you, or if you want to be connected to a trusted professional.
About the author
Nicole Fryling, MA, LLPC is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Michigan and a graduate of Grand Rapids Theological Seminary. She finds energy in her work as a counselor when she is working with women who feel stuck and those wanting to restore hope for a better, more enriching life. She is also passionate about coming alongside those who want to incorporate their spirituality and relationship with God in their healing journey. Nicole sees clients in person in Hudsonville, MI and can also provide services online to any resident of the state of Michigan.
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