Using technology in counseling can be beneficial at times. Although I tend to have a love/hate relationship with technology, there are some apps that I have found helpful when working with individuals and couples. There is one app in particular that I find myself suggesting over and over again. My #1 relationship app is called Questions in a Box.
What does this relationship app do?
Questions in a Box is a super simple app that provides four categories of questions. The categories include “we just met,” “acquaintances,” “good friends,” and “big picture.” After clicking on a category, you can scroll through a series of questions. The depth of each question gets deeper as you move up in categories. It’s that simple!
Who should use this app?
At the most basic level, this app would be great for group ice breaker games. My main use for it in therapy is as a homework assignment for both my individual clients and for the couples with whom I work. For couples, I will assign this usually at the end of the first session just as a way for them to communicate about things other than administrative conversations. For those clients who see me individually, I usually suggest it for those whose marriages are struggling, or lacking connection. I also suggest it for parents/families who are having trouble connecting with their kids/teens/adult children.
How often should I use it?
In general, I typically suggest my clients use it a couple of times a week for 10-15 minutes at a time. It’s great at the dinner table, in the car, or on date night. I have personally used this on dates with my husband.
Benefits of using this relationship app
For so many people I talk to who are in struggling relationships, one of their biggest complaints is a loss of connection. When they do talk, they don’t know what to talk about, or they just sit on their phones most of the time. This app is just a casual way to engage in conversation without the pressure. Each person can take a turn asking a question while the others share their answers and use follow up questions. It can also be a great tool for increasing listening skills.
If you are in a marriage, or a long-term relationship…you want things to be like they were in the beginning, when the connection was fun and new. Think about what you did most back then…you sat and talked and learned about each other. Well, even though we may be with someone for decades, we are always growing and changing and we need to constantly be getting to know the other person. If we don’t, we change, but we can run the risk of growing apart. And “all of the sudden” (although it happens slowly over time) you look across the room to someone who feels like a stranger.
Download the app today and give it a try. If your relationship is struggling and needs more than an app, reach out to us to get some help today. We would count it a privilege to journey with you in strengthening your connection.
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