Many of the people inquiring to my office have never been to counseling before. Taking that first step of calling a counselor takes courage! I welcome anyone into my office that seeks help. The first step is recognizing it’s beyond what you can process through on your own. That being said, there are some other factors that contribute to getting the most out of what counseling has to offer. It’s important to take the time to determine if you are ready for counseling.
Everyone is at a different level when they enter counseling, and that is fine. Some people need to come to counseling to help them determine whether they are ready to change. Others have tried many things and have not had success on their own. Others are at the end of their patience with a relationship or just don’t even know where to begin.
How to determine if you are ready for counseling
- Are you ready to focus and work on you? Counseling is not about others, it’s about you. Therapists can certainly help you navigate relationships, but its important to keep in mind…we can’t change others.
- Are you ready to change when others around you are not? This is a “side effect” of counseling I try to help all of my clients understand. It can be challenging when you are doing so much hard work on yourself and those around you are still the same. Of course, it’s worth it to see the progress in your own life, but it takes compassion for those in your life who are not at that point yet.
- Are you ready to do the “work?” I always chuckle a little when someone (typically in the industry) uses the phrase “do the work.” There are many who don’t fully understand what that means. Basically, are you ready to dive deep into your own junk, your shadow sides, your emotions and create beauty from the pain? Ready to name your emotions, thoughts and behaviors?
- Are you ready to be different? Self-awareness alone can create change, at least in our minds. It’s empowering but it also comes with a sense of responsibility. But, this is where the magic happens. When we become different, better versions of ourselves, that’s where we go from surviving to thriving.
- Do you lack a support structure? A counselor can become a step to setting up a support structure for a client without one. However, having a support structure, to any degree, can aid in change as there are people rooting you on. If you don’t have a support structure, a counselor can help you seek out ways to build community.
- Are you a “no” to all of the above but you just need someone to walk through the struggle with you? Then counseling can certainly be the place for you. Sometimes a fresh, neutral perspective is needed. Someone outside of the original story who brings a new way of looking at things and helps build curiosity and insight.
If you are a “yes” to any of the above, then counseling may be right for you. Whether Restorative Counseling Center is a good fit or not, contact us to help match you with someone for your counseling needs.
About the author
Nicole Fryling, MA, LLPC is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Michigan and a graduate of Grand Rapids Theological Seminary. She finds energy in her work as a counselor when she is working with women who feel stuck in their anxiety and those wanting to restore hope for a better, more enriching life. She is also passionate about coming alongside those who want to incorporate their spirituality and relationship with God in their healing journey. Nicole sees clients in person in Hudsonville, MI and can also provide services online to any resident of the state of Michigan.
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