The idea to write this letter came to me about a week ago when I was messaging with a fellow fatigued mama. As I sit down to actually write this, I am not sure I even know where to begin. Maybe because I am walking the same journey, as I am a mom as well. So, perhaps this letter is as much written to myself as it is written to all of the other moms out there who are living in an unprecedented world during the COVID-19 pandemic. Let me also preface this by saying, I am fully aware that everyone is going through this and that everyone could potentially be having a difficult time. Current world events are not leaving anyone out; however, I felt the pull to write specifically towards moms this week.
Dear Quarantined Mama,
First of all, I hope this letter finds you healthy and safe. I know you have probably spent the first few weeks of this quarantine making sure that everyone’s physical needs are being met. I know as a mom of a preteen and a teen, I don’t feel like I can keep enough food in the house! Is it just me, or does it feel like someone always needs something? And by something, yes, I am referring to the three meals plus seventeen snacks a day, but also the constant emotional needs. In our household, I had expected emotions like anxiety and sadness, but I was not expecting anger and overwhelm.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love this role of mom, but it is also one of the most difficult hats I wear. Can you relate? Sometimes I feel surrounded by moms that have it all together, those crafting with their children and following strict schedules. This just stirs up the “mom guilt” for me. After working through the guilt, I had to take a step back and realize that most moms are just doing the best they can. Their best might look different than my best, but it doesn’t make mine wrong.
I am hoping to offer you some encouragement today. Did you know that God hand-picked, hand-selected you as your kiddo’s mom because He knew you were the perfect mom for the job? Not because you are perfect, but because you are perfect for your child. He equips the called! You are called to be the mom to those kids in your household. Oh, believe me, I totally get not feeling cut out for the job, but I am so thankful for the rhythm of the day. That we get to go to sleep at night, and wake up to a new day, new mercies and new opportunities.
Now, let me ask you some hard questions. Before I ask these, please know, I see you and hear you. There is pressure on moms today like there has never been before. The weight we are carrying in our hearts and on our shoulders is heavier than ever before. That’s exactly the reason for these questions.
Through all of this, have you made sure that…
- Your own physical needs are met?
- You have a social outlet?
- You are getting physical activity every day?
- You have time to be creative?
- Your emotions are validated and regulated?
- You have quiet time with a screen, book, or even a nap?
- You have opportunities to use your mental brain power, or learn something new?
- You are getting adequate sleep?
Now, you might be thinking, “Girl, how am I ever supposed to do all of that?” Hey, I get it, but if you look at that list, that is the list of things we are expected to offer those in our household. There is a reason the flight attendant on the plane tells us parents to put on our own oxygen mask before helping our children! If you know the importance of meeting the physical, emotional, and mental needs of your children, I beg you to make sure yours are being met as well. Not meeting these needs can lead to depression, burnout, compassion fatigue, and more. Now, I get this might not be realistic every day, but it is not too much to ask for a daily shower, time to sit down for a meal, or alone time. I also know that everyone’s situation is different, but I pray that you understand the true weight of all that you are carrying right now. Now more than ever, it’s important that you take care of yourself.
We will get through this, and most of us will be stronger than before. My heart goes out to you mama!
Love,
Nicole
Recent Comments