Are you a caregiver? Do you take care of others? This may include roles or careers like mother, pastor, ministry leader, health care worker, counselor, etc. Or it may be a role you have found yourself in like caregiver for elderly parents, or caregiver for someone who is ill. It may also include someone who does a lot of volunteer work. Regardless of how you found yourself in these roles, or what these roles are, if you spend a lot of time caring for someone else’s needs, you can be susceptible to compassion fatigue.
What is compassion fatigue?
According to Wikipedia (I know, I know, not always the most reliable source but I like this definition), “compassion fatigue is a condition characterized by emotional and physical exhaustion leading to a diminished ability to empathize or feel compassion for others.” So, in other words, if not properly addressed, the exhaustion that can come from taking care of others becomes burnout and inhibits your ability to compassionately care for others. This may look like emotionally checking out, minimizing suffering, or feeling helpless (Nagoski & Nagoski).
Suggestions to help reduce the risk for compassion fatigue:
- Know yourself. You have to be self-aware enough to recognize the signs of fatigue and burnout. Take moments throughout your day to check in with yourself.
- Self -care. This is not just a buzz word; this is mandatory for caregivers. If you need ideas, read this past blog.
- Spiritual disciplines. If you are a person of faith, leaning into your faith tradition can be especially comforting and centering.
- Gratitude practice. Caregivers can see and experience a lot of hurt and pain. It’s important to look at the goodness in the world around you. Keep a list or journal of a few things each day that you are grateful for. Need help establishing a gratitude practice, I walk you through the steps in this blog post.
- Manage stress. We need to complete the stress cycle. In their book, Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle, Emily Ngaoski and Amelia Nagoski offer ways to complete the stress cycle. These include physical activity (20-60 minutes), deep breathing, positive social interaction, laughter, affection and creative expression. They remind us that just because the stressor is gone, we still need to release the stress from our bodies.
- Set emotional boundaries. This is hard, and something they train us in in graduate school. As counselors, not counseling friends/family is a big part of this. If possible for you, set boundaries that separate those you care for from your personal life. If your caregiving is for someone close to you, this will be more difficult and make all of the other ideas even more important.
- Have healthy friendships outside of your role as caregiver. Yes! Have friends outside of ministry, work, or home; wherever you have the primary role as care taker. Have friends that will listen if you need it, but that will also talk about other things and laugh with you.
- Intentionally incorporate enjoyable activities. What brings you joy? Make a list and intentionally schedule those in your life. This may seem silly, but time goes quickly. If you aren’t intentional with this, days, weeks, months and years go by taking care of others and not enjoying the other parts of life.
- Know your skillset and when to delegate or refer. If you are able, ask for help, delegate some tasks, and know when it’s best to refer out.
- Get your own support and counsel. Counselors even have counselors. Have a safe place for you to process and gain support and encouragement.
As a caregiver myself, this is something that I am constantly monitoring. I have to intentionally think about the above list as well. If you are in need of your own support and counsel, or you need a safe place to talk through the struggles of being a caregiver, please reach out to us for help.
About the author
Nicole Fryling, MA, LLPC counsels women who feel anxious, overwhelmed and stuck, and want to be empowered to create peace, joy and fulfillment in their lives. She does this by blending together proven psychological tools and techniques with the therapeutic framework Scripture provides. Of all of the hats Nicole wears (wife, mother, counselor, business owner), Nicole’s favorite is her beach hat!
If you’re ready to learn to thrive rather than just survive, contact Nicole today for support at nicole@restorativecc.com
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