What if I get in an accident? What if my child doesn’t get into college? What if I get let go from my job? What if my husband leaves me? What if this pain never goes away?
For those who suffer from anxiety, the what-if questions are continuously going through our heads. It’s easy to let them continue to spiral. If we aren’t careful we can get so wrapped up in the future thinking about what could happen, that we miss out on what’s happening in the present. The present needs our attention. Current problems that need solutions. Making memories with our loved ones. Emotions that need processing. These are present activities that actually need our limited energy and capacity.
What to do with a what-if thought:
- Ask yourself, “Is this helpful?” Sometimes we need to process things or look for solutions. But we need to take a hard look at whether our thinking is actually productive and/or helpful. Most of the time, if we are in a worry spiral, it’s not.
- Do something different. When we are stuck, we need to think something different or do something different. Find something, especially that deals with the five senses, and do that as a distraction. This is called grounding. It distracts the mind and grounds our bodies in the present.
- Take your “what-if” all the way to the end. I know this may seem counterintuitive, but take the thought one step further, and one step further all the way to the end. Most of the time, you will be okay, even if that what-if happens. I recognize that some of your what-ifs may end in suffering, or illness, or even death. I don’t want to minimize that but is you worrying about it, and mentally spirally going to change the outcome?
- Recognize that worrying doesn’t accomplish anything. We think when we worry that we are doing something. We aren’t. Start to pay close attention and increase self-awareness to recognize when we fall into these worry patterns. That really is the first step. See the preceding bullet points for what to do once you realize you are in a worry cycle.
Feel stuck in the worry cycle?
Feel like you are frequently stuck in a worry cycle? The following other blogs may be of interest to you as well:
Guide to recognizing your emotions https://restorativecc.com/recognizing-emotions/
Emotions: Good or bad? https://restorativecc.com/emotions/
Start with self-awareness https://restorativecc.com/self-awareness/
We know it can be hard to get out of these mental spirals on your own. Please reach out if you struggle with anxiety and desire some professional help.
About the author
Nicole Fryling, MA, LLPC counsels women who feel anxious, overwhelmed and stuck, and want to be empowered to create peace, joy and fulfillment in their lives. She does this by blending together proven psychological tools and techniques with the therapeutic framework Scripture provides. Of all of the hats Nicole wears (wife, mother, counselor, business owner), Nicole’s favorite is her beach hat!
If you’re ready to learn to thrive rather than just survive, contact Nicole today for support at nicole@restorativecc.com
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